


Am I That Girl You Dream Of

by Sxymami0909



Series: What Is And What Never Should Be [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Banshee Lydia Martin, Derek is a Good Friend, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamsharing, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Worried Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:05:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sxymami0909/pseuds/Sxymami0909
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Stiles believes they do. And he believes that one woman can change many lives... for better, or worse. Can Lydia hold on to reality long enough to realize it too? Or will she be lost to him forever? (Title from ‘Pretty When You Cry’ by Lana Del Rey)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I That Girl You Dream Of

**Author's Note:**

> Request: From Dysphoria-nirvana on Tumblr - Could you write something based off "Pretty When You Cry" by Lana del Rey??!?!?!? Plzzzz

_“Come home Lydia…Come home.”_

 

The words echoed in her head and she frowned. The voice sounded familiar. It sounded like _Stiles_ …But that was impossible.

“Lyds…”

The sound of her boyfriend’s voice brought Lydia back to the discussion at hand. She glanced at Stiles and arched a perfectly sculpted brow, “Hmm?”

Stiles brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear sending her an inquisitive look. “You okay? You got this far off look in your eyes there for a minute. We boring you?” He asked teasingly, though he was starting to worry considering this wasn’t the first time it had happened.

Lydia rolled her eyes, but before she could respond her best friend spoke from across the table.

“I think she’s just day dreaming about what a weekend at the lakehouse with all of us is going to be like.” Allison joked.

Lydia just shook her head and stole one of Stiles’ fries. “Please, I already know what it’s going to be like. Awesome.” She stated with a small grin.

Isaac dropped an arm around Allison’s shoulders and smirked. “Well I’m certainly looking forward to it. I’ve never really had a pack sleepover before.” If he was being honest he hadn’t had an actual sleep over since he was a kid and it was nice knowing he had friends now…a pack.

Stiles chuckled, “Yeah, I think that’s a pretty new one for all of us Isaac,” he had spent the weekend there before just him and Lydia, but never with anyone else. It was Scott’s idea, a pack bonding weekend.

Lydia watched her friends talking and smiled. It was nice. It wasn’t often that they were able to hang out and make plans like regular teenagers. It was something Lydia could definitely get used to. The feel of a hand sliding down her back pulled her from her thoughts. She glanced at Stiles and her expression warmed. “Did you say something?” She asked softly.

Stiles shook his head, “No, just wondering what’s putting that beautiful smile on your face,” he replied with a cheeky grin.

Lydia laughed as she leaned into him, “You think you’re so smooth Stilinski,” and it was possible he was, but mostly without trying. Ninety percent of the time she couldn’t seem to figure out what Stiles was doing with her. She was more than a little lucky having him in her life. He changed her a lot, but she was pretty sure she’d changed him too.

Stiles winked at her leaving his hand at the small of her back as he went back to his conversation with Isaac.

Lydia glanced around the table again realizing Scott and Kira weren’t there. She nodded in the direction of the empty seats, “Where’s our fearless leader?” She asked good naturedly before lifting her bottle of water to her lips to take a sip.

Allison followed Lydia’s gaze as she took a sip of her ice tea. “I’m pretty sure he and Kira decided to have lunch off campus today. Perks of being a senior,” she replied with a grin. Sometimes she still couldn’t believe they all made it to their senior year. They were lucky…other’s hadn’t.

Isaac leaned into Allison, “Why don’t we ever have lunch off campus?” He asked with a pout.

Lydia and Allison exchanged amused glances before her best friend addressed her boyfriend. “Because, we actually get alone time every time dad’s out of town,” she explained before shifting forward and pressing a light kiss to his lips.

Lydia glanced away from Isaac and Allison and nudged Stiles. “And why don’t we ever eat off campus?” She asked her tone mildly teasing.

Stiles turned to Lydia and smirked, “Because I know how annoyed you’d be if we were late coming back,” he told her knowing it was true. Lydia might complain about school every so often but Stiles knew she loved it.

Lydia eyed him for a minute doing her best not to smile as she leaned in and brushed a kiss against his cheek. He knew her all too well, “See, this is why I love you.”

Stiles’ expression warmed. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to hearing Lydia say that. He sent her a playful grin, “Just the one reason?” He watched her roll her eyes yet again before scooting towards her and cupping her cheek, “I love you too,” he responded softly.

Lydia closed the distance between them and captured his lips in a soft kiss, her hand reaching out and gripping his wrist gently as she deepened the kiss. She shifted towards him when she heard the echo of another familiar voice in her head.

 

_“Hey Lydia, so I know I usually sit here and read my books out loud, but Stiles suggested something different for today…The Notebook--”_

 

Lydia squeezed her eyes shut as she broke away from the kiss. She opened her eyes and blinked several times before taking in Derek’s newly furnished loft, his voice pulling her from her thoughts.

“Did you find your book?” He asked from his seat on the couch. She had walked into the room a couple of minutes ago and had just been standing there since. Derek sent her a questioning look trying to figure out what was wrong as he watched her glance down at her hands.

Lydia fingered the book in her hands and nodded, the momentary confusion filling her gone now as she made her way back over to the couch. She held up the book. “Yup, got it right here. The Notebook,” she replied brightly before plopping down next to him on the couch. It was a Friday night and early enough that she could still catch up with Allison and Isaac at the movies if she wanted to. But surprisingly she was looking forward to a quiet night in. Plus she didn’t want to ruin their date.

Derek shook his head as he watched her settle down beside him, “I still can’t believe you read those books.” He replied with his brows drawn together.

Lydia arched an eyebrow at the werewolf next to her, “I _love_ these books,” she responded, “Just because I read a lot and enjoy learning different hobbies through books, doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a good romance novel every now and then.” She explained simply.

Derek snorted, though a hint of a smirk pulled at his lips, “More like trashy,” he said glancing over the top of his book, humor dancing in his eyes as he teased her.

Lydia lifted her bare foot and kicked him gently in the leg. “Don’t make me hurt you,” she joked. Derek just chuckled. Lydia lifted her leg back onto the couch and settled in against the arm before glancing at Derek. “Hey, thanks again for letting me hang out here while Scott and Stiles have their little boy’s only camping trip.”

Derek nodded, “Sure,” he replied lightly. “God only knows what kind of trouble you’d get yourself into all alone,” he joked, his gaze back on his book.

Lydia opened her book and scoffed at him, “Please you people would be lost without me and you know it.” A minute later she felt the heavy pressure of Derek’s hand against hers and she glanced up from her book a questioning look on her face at his serious expression.

 

_“Stiles is lost without you,”_ Derek paused _, “We all are really. I know we’ve never been close, but…you’re pack and everyone needs you back, even me.”_

 

Lydia frowned. The expression on Derek’s face was deadly serious as he spoke and she wondered if he’d had some kind of stroke. His face looked clouded with guilt and was the stubble on his face thicker than a few minutes ago? “Derek…” the word left her mouth and her throat felt dry.

 

There was a beat of silence as a look of shock crossed Derek’s face. _“Lydia…Lydia focus.”_

 

Lydia closed her eyes, opened them and then blinked twice.

“You okay there Red?” Derek asked amused as he glanced up from reading his book.

Lydia hesitated before sending him half a smile, “Yeah, I’m fine.” She said her tone light despite the odd feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Derek nodded and closed his book. “Okay, it’s getting late. I’m going to order us some dinner. Mexican sound okay?” He asked as he stood wondering what the odd look on her face meant.

Lydia nodded, “Yeah, sure.” She replied as she watched him walk away, the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach only growing. Something wasn’t quite right.

 

______

 

Derek paced the hallway outside of Lydia’s room at Eichen House. He glanced down at his phone again and grunted. He’d called Stiles almost thirty minutes ago and the teenager still wasn’t there. Then again it was the middle of a school day and it probably took him some time to get released. He was just about to glance down at his phone again when he spotted Stiles barreling down the hallways out of the corner of his eye.

Stiles nearly tripped on his own two feet, a nurse trailing behind him. “Mr. Stilinski! You need to finish signing in plus you know you need your badge for this wing! And stop running!” She snapped.

Stiles just rolled his eyes and came to a stop directly in front of Derek. “What’s the emergency? What happened?” He asked out of breath.

Derek waited for the nurse to catch up with Stiles so he could sign the clipboard she held. He watched her glare at the teenager before handing him his badge and moving back down the hall.

“Well?” Stiles inquired impatiently.

Derek took a deep breath. “Lydia spoke to me today. I was--” he paused brows drawing together, “I was talking and she looked dead at me and said my name. She looked confused, but the second I responded to her she was gone again. I’m telling you if I blinked, I would’ve missed it, it was that fast.” He stated.

Stiles’ chest tightened at Derek’s words and he glanced towards the door to Lydia’s room, “You’re positive?” He asked quietly his tone cautious. “She looked at you like actually focused o your face and saw you?”

Derek nodded, “Yes, I’m sure of it.” He stated matter-of-factly.

Stiles worried his lower lip for a minute before swallowing hard, “What were you talking about?” He asked quietly trying not to be upset that Lydia had responded to someone who wasn’t him. There wasn’t time for any kind of jealousy, she was awake for a minute and that was progress.

It was Derek’s turn to hesitate, “You. I was talking about you and how much the pack needs her.” He told the teenager his voice low, not embarrassed, but also not used to being so open about what he was thinking.

Stiles’ heart clenched. God, he did need her, he needed her more than anyone knew. “Did you call Deaton? Does he know what happened?”

Derek inclined his head, “I did. He was with a patient, but he said as soon as they left he would be down here.” He had urged the other man to hurry, but Deaton had told him to relax, take a deep breath and he’d be there as soon as he could.

“Good,” Stiles replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna go sit with her…you staying?” He asked uncertainly. Derek had been a big help to Stiles the past three months. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t be with Lydia all the time and when Derek had volunteered to be there when Stiles couldn’t he’d been confused. But apparently his beautiful banshee had befriended the wolf over the course of assassins attacking them and they’d developed a kind of friendship that he was just now beginning to understand.

Derek shook his head, “No, I’ll give you two some time. Let me know what Deaton says when he gets here…Okay?” He asked. Derek knew Stiles didn’t really understand his friendship with Lydia and honestly neither did he. He had started after Allison’s death and somehow continued through the past six months. Neither of them made a big deal out of it because it wasn’t. They didn’t know each other well and yet they’d been there for some of the biggest moments over the past few months and Derek was hoping she’d get better so they could get to know each other more. The teenagers voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“I will,” Stiles said before exchanging nods with Derek, taking a deep breath and heading into Lydia’s room. This was what he’d been waiting for, some kind of sign that she was going to be okay. Lydia Martin was a fighter…she would beat this and when she did he’d finally tell her what she meant to him. What she’d always meant to him.

______

Lydia rested on her stomach on Allison’s bed, notebook resting on one side of her textbook as she wrote out the answers to the lab they did in Chemistry earlier that day. She let out a soft sigh as she started on the objective. “Hey are we using the objective from the first draft or the second one?” She asked without looking up from her paper.

Allison glanced up at her best friend and turned the paper she was copying over. “The second draft. Our data was definitely better that time around.” She answered lightly before grinning, “When we finish with this I’ve got the DVD played all keyed up to play The Proposal and there’s popcorn, M & M’s and ice tea downstairs.” She told Lydia, “Our reward,” Allison said with a soft laugh.

Lydia grinned as she pushed herself up until she was standing. “Have I mentioned you’re the best, best friend in the world?” She asked, “What would I do without you?”

Allison tilted her head to the side, a thoughtful expression crossing her face, “Hmm, crash and burn?” She joked lightly happy to see the smile on her friend’s face.

Lydia bent down and lifted the pillow she’d been using before tossing it playfully at her friend. “You’re terrible,” she said pausing when the pillow went straight through Allison. Suddenly the bedroom flickered and a chill seeped into Lydia’s skin as the walls melted away leaving her standing in the middle of the Beacon Hills graveyard.

Lydia’s gaze drifted frantically around the area before falling on the headstone in front of her. A soft gasp left her lips as she took a step back, “No,” the words left her mouth before she could stop them. She stumbled back tripping on a stone. This couldn’t be happening. Something shimmered in front of her and then Allison appeared.

Lydia blinked and hesitated for a second before stepping forward, “Allison?” She asked confused. What the hell was happening?

Allison smiled sadly at her best friend, “Yeah, it’s me. Do you know w here you are right now?” She asked quietly.

Lydia frowned, “I’m in the middle of some kind of terrible nightmare,” she snapped confusion and a hint of fear coloring her features.

Allison shook her head, “No, Lydia. This,” she gestured to the gravestone, “This is real. This is what you spent months running from.” She told her best friend. “This is the truth. You need to remember and snap yourself out of this.” Allison told her as she took a step forward and reached for Lydia who stepped out of her reach.

Allison frowned. “You can’t keep doing this Lydia. You have to wake up. Stop hiding in this world you created. The people back home are going to need your help…they need to know what you saw coming. They need to know,” she whispered, “Listen to what’s going on around you.” She grabbed her friend’s arm and Lydia winced.

Allison’s nails dug slightly into her arm and she did her best to get away from her, but no matter how hard she tried nothing helped. “Remember,” her friend said again and then before she could stop herself, Lydia closed her eyes and screamed.

______

 

Lydia’s body jerked awake, her eyes flying open as she gasped for breath. She felt a pair of arms tighten around her and she glanced to her side, heart beating erratically in her chest. She spotted Stiles, his eyes closed. She frowned. He looked different than she remembered, tired, haunted…the same way Derek had for a minute when she was there.

Something wasn’t right. She shifted carefully and glanced around the bedroom. It was his. They must have been hanging out after school and fallen asleep. But at the same time it didn’t feel like that’s what had happened.

Stiles shifted his eyes fluttering open as he reached up and rubbed a hand over his face. He frowned when he realized he was in his room. “What the hell?” He mumbled.

Lydia heard Stiles' mumbled voice and she glanced over at him. “Hey, you’re awake,” she said softly, “You’re never going to believe the dream I just had. It was terrible.” She told him her brows furrowed not taking notice of the shock on his face.

Stiles paused, blinking as he stared at the strawberry blonde beside him, surprise coloring his features, “Lydia?” He asked his voice barely a whisper.

Lydia glanced at him then taking in the look on his face, “Yeah?” She said confused. She wasn’t sure why he was looking at her like he hadn’t seen her in months. She could see his eyes grow red and she immediately shifted closer to him reaching out and cupping his cheek, “What is it?  What’s wrong Stiles?”

Stiles swallowed hard to moisten his throat, the feel of her hand on his cheek the best feeling in the world. He let his eyes slid shut for a moment and a single tear slipped down his cheek. He could practically feel her worry and before she could remove her hand from his cheek, he placed his over it. “I thought I’d never talk to you again,” he told her as his eyes opened again.

He didn’t know how this was happening and honestly he didn’t care. Deaton had told him when this first happened that their connection…the tether link might be able to bring her back, but it had never worked, not any time he tried and Stiles had a feeling it was because Lydia wasn’t close enough to the surface of her own mind, but now after what happened with Derek earlier that day she must be. But Stiles didn’t remember trying…he must have fallen asleep.

“Stiles,” Lydia said drawing his attention to her, fear now coating her essence, “What is going on? Talk to me.” She urged him.

Stiles nodded, “Lydia…how, where,” he paused, “Are you okay?” He asked finally letting go of her hand and reaching out to cup her cheek.

Lydia frowned, “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” She paused, “Oh it was just the dream…it was so weird and Allison kept saying all of this weird stuff…I don’t know.” She said with a shrug.

Stiles watched her closely for a minute before shifting on the bed. “Lydia, I need you to listen very closely to me. Okay?” He waited for her to nod and when she did he continued talking, “Three and a half months ago you came to Eichen House to talk to Dr. Valack…we have no clue what he said to you or what you saw, but you’ve been a patient in Eichen House ever since.” He squeezed her hand, “Completely catatonic…Until now.” He told her. “I don’t know where we are or what this place is, but it’s the first time I’ve been able to reach you since this happened.” Stiles explained trying to read the expression on her face.

Lydia stared at Stiles for a solid minute and then pulled her hand back gently and shook her head as she pushed herself up from the bed, “No…No you’re wrong.” She turned around so her back was to him. She glanced around Stiles' room taking note that none of the usual pictures of them were up there. Her heartbeat quickened when she spotted a photo of Stiles with a girl…she knew that girl. An image flashed in her mind of her and Allison sitting in a car comparing her picture to Peter’s. The memory slammed into her nearly knocking her off her feet.

Stiles rushed forward and steadied her, “Lydia…what’s happening?” He asked worry in his voice as he watched her.

Lydia could feel moisture filling her eyes as she glanced over her shoulder at Stiles, “Oh god…oh god no,” she shifted away from him backing up, her hand curling around the edge of the dresser to keep herself up as memory after memory slammed into her head. A small sob broke from her throat and she shut her eyes, several tears streaming down beneath them.

Stiles wasn’t sure what to do. He was scared and confused. He didn’t know why Lydia was upset or what was happening. “Lydia…Lyds please,” he took a couple of steps closer to her and rested a hesitant hand on her arm.

Lydia’s eyes fluttered open, lashes damp with her tears as she met Stiles’ gaze. “None of it was real. I can’t…Allison.” She swallowed hard, “I did this?” She asked her heart beating heavily in her chest. Allison had been right…she had been living a lie and now, now she had nothing again. “I can’t do this. I don’t want to go back.”

Stiles’ eyes widened and his grip on her hand tightened just a bit, “Lydia you have to, you have to come back with me _please_. I can’t,” his throat tightened and the moisture in his eyes was back. “I can’t lose you again.” He told her as he dropped her hand and cupped both of her cheeks. “We’re lost without you…even Derek.” He said with a short laugh, “I need you not to run from me. I don’t know what happened and I don’t care. All I care about is you coming back to me…can you do that? Please?” He asked the pleading in his tone not lost on his ears, but again he didn’t care. Stiles would beg if he had to.

Lydia could see the desperation in Stiles’ eyes and his words, they made her chest tight. “I need you too,” she told him as she gripped his wrists. “I don’t know how.” She admitted. “I don’t know how to come back.”

Stiles considered her words and nodded, “Okay, so we’ll figure it out. That’s what we do right?” He asked, half a smile pulling at his lips.

Lydia nodded. “How are you here?” She asked arching an eyebrow in his direction.

Stiles opened his mouth and then closed it remembering his theory. “I think I fell asleep in your room at Eichen House. Derek was there and he said you spoke to him so I left school and came to you…but when I got there,” he shrugged, “Nothing.” He said softly. “And I guess I was tired,” which wasn’t surprising since Stiles hadn’t been sleeping well.

“Deaton told me a while ago when this first happened that our connection could save you, but it never worked. I tried Lydia…I tried so many time.” He whispered letting his hands fall from her face and pulling her into a hug.

Lydia slid her hands beneath his arms and clutched at his back as tears pooled in her eyes again at the pain in his voice. She’d caused that. Stiles was right, she needed to come back. He needed her…and she needed him. “So what’s different this time?” She finally asked, “What variable has changed?”

Stiles pulled back and studied her face, “You,” he replied quietly, “You’ve never been this close to the surface before or your consciousness…so maybe if you try to wake up with me that will work.” He offered not entirely sure that was the solution, but more than willing to try.

Lydia pursed her lips. “Okay. It’s worth a try.” She said as Stiles’ brushed the tears off her cheeks. “Do we just think about waking up?” She asked looking for some kind of direction.

Stiles shrugged, “Honestly I have no idea.” He watched her for a minute before seeing her close her eyes. He did the same, took a deep breath and whispered, “Wake up.”

Stiles’ eyes shot open and he jerked in the chair he was slumped in, sucking in a sharp breath. His heart beat hard against the wall of his chest as he sat up, blinking several times and noticing the lavender in the room.  His gaze darted over to Lydia and he stood bending over her body. He reached out and cupped her cheek, “Lydia? Lyds did you wake up?” But the look in her eyes was vacant and Stiles dropped his head against her chest, tears spilling from his eyes. It didn’t work…he’d left her wherever she was. His heart clenched and in that moment he hated himself, he hated everything. But then his body froze as the feel of fingers thumbing carefully through his hair made him slowly lift his head. He locked his red rimmed eyes on green ones, afraid to hope that he was wrong and it did work, but when he saw her blink his lip twitched a smile attempting to pull at it.

Lydia stared down at Stiles, her hand in his hair. Her body felt heavy, too heavy and her throat was like sandpaper it was even hard to swallow. But the look in his eyes, it warmed her heart. “Stiles?” She rasped out wincing as his name left her throat.

Relief filled him as he wrapped his arm around her, “I’m right here,” he told her, “And I’m not going anywhere…not ever.” He said matter-of-factly as he held her tightly.

Lydia closed her eyes and then opened them, a tear slipping from the corner as she hugged him back as best as she could while still lying down. She could feel him shaking in her arms and she tightened her grip on him. She was awake and _this_ was real. Lydia was finally home…


End file.
